Adventures In Tech Support (Friday Fun)
A reader sent me this collection of “tech support stories” (aka “clueless user stories”). I suspect they will make you smile… unless you work at a Help Desk…
TECH SUPPORT
Tech Support: What kind of computer do you have?
Customer: A white one.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can’t get my DVD out !!!
Tech Support: Have you tried pushing the button?
Customer: Yes, I’m sure it’s really stuck.
Tech Support: That doesn’t sound good; I’ll make a note.
Customer: No, wait a minute, I hadn’t inserted it
yet. It’s still on my desk . . . sorry. Thank you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tech Support: Click on the ‘MY COMPUTER’ icon on the
left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tech Support: Hello. How may I help you?
Customer: Hi .. . . I can’t print.
Tech Support: Would you click on ‘START’ for me and . . ….
Customer: Listen pal; don’t start getting technical on
me. I’m not Billy Gates!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Customer: Good afternoon, this is Martha. I can’t
print. Every time I try, it says . . . ‘CAN’T FIND PRINTER’. I even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says it can’t find it!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Customer: I have problems printing in red.
Tech Support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah . . . . . . . . . . thank you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tech Support: What’s on your monitor now, ma’am?
Customer: A teddy bear that my boyfriend bought for
me at the 7-11 store.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech Support: Are you sure your keyboard is plugged
into the computer?
Customer: No. I can’t get behind the computer.
Tech Support: Pick up your keyboard and take ten
steps backwards.
Customer: Okay.
Tech Support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes.
Tech Support: That means the keyboard is not plugged
in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there’s another one here. Wait a
moment please. . . . . . … Ah, that one does work.
Thanks.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tech Support: Your password is the small letter ‘a’ as in
apple, a capital letter ‘V’ as in Victor, and the number ‘7’.
Customer: Is that ‘7’ in capital letters?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Customer: I can’t get on the internet.
Tech Support: Are you absolutely sure you used the
correct password?
Customer: Yes, I’m sure. I saw my co-worker do it.
Tech Support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five dots.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tech Support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech Support: That’s not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry . . . Internet Explorer.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Customer: I have a huge problem! My friend has
placed a screen saver on my computer . . . but,
every time I move my mouse, it disappears.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tech Support: How may I help you?
Customer: I’m writing my first email.
Tech Support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter ‘a’ in the address,
but how do I get the little circle around it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A woman customer called the Canon help desk because
she had a problem with her printer..
Tech Support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: No, my desk is next to the door, but that
is a good point. The man sitting next to me is by
a window, and his printer is working fine!
And last, but not least . . .
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tech Support: Okay Bob, press the control and escape
keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the
middle of the screen.. Now, type the letter ‘P’ to bring
up the Program Manager.
Customer: I don’t have a ‘P’.
Tech Support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean ?
Tech Support: ‘P’ . . . on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I AM NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!!
…………………………………………
It is summertime, and it is Friday. Not a bad combo, eh? Enjoy, everybody. And let’s be safe out there.
(And thank you, Dear Reader [you know who you are].)
Today’s quote: “Pride that dines on vanity, sups on contempt.” ~ Benjamin Franklin
>> Folks, don’t miss an article! To get Tech – for Everyone articles delivered to your e-mail Inbox, click here, or to subscribe in your RSS reader, click here. <<
July 29, 2011 Posted by techpaul | computers, gadgets, Internet, tech | tech support stories | 10 Comments
• About Tech Paul
I am a Retired computer & network technician. I used to think the machines were pretty cool. Now I don’t.
They’re anything but.
I regularly posted how-to’s and tricks & tips and general computing advice here starting in 2007. (Use the Search tool to find answers. But be aware, many are rather dated.) Sometimes I answered (your) specific questions in an article if I believed the answer was generally helpful to “everyone”. All the writing you see was my own, typos and all. There always is/was an implied “IMHO” in what you see here.
Note: You are responsible for using this blog and its content. I am in no way liable for any losses caused by user error, viruses and/or other malware, hardware or software failure, or any other conceivable reason.
-
Recent Posts
- Merry Christmas
- Just one reason I walked away..
- Use a cellphone? Read this
- A great How To guide for Online Privacy
- “Medicaid Database Department” phone scam
- Yet another major theft..
- How to erase yourself from the Internet
- Accept these two realities
- Remove yourself from people search sites and erase your online presence
- 12 Simple Steps..
Blogroll
- * 100 Incredibly Useful and Interesting Web Sites
- * 15 Mobile Security Tools (smart phones/tablets)
- * AnandTech
- * Best Antivirus 2018 (comparison)
- * Best Free Antivirus 2018 (comparison)
- * Best Free Software
- * Best Internet Security Suites 2016
- * CNet's Security & Antivirus Center
- * Cult of Mac
- * CyberSafe (Kids) – How To Talk To Your Kids (Video Learning)
- * How to erase yourself from the Internet
- * How to remove yourself from Internet search results and hide your identity
- * How To Stay Anonymous Online
- * iLounge
- * Laptop Magazine (part of Tom's Guide)
- * Online Safety and Privacy Education
- * Paul Thurrott's SuperSite for Windows
- * Practical advice for greater online safety
- * Practical Advice for Parents: Computer Use
- * Pulp Tech
- * startpage (the world's most private search engine)
- * The Verge
- * TNW (The Next Web.com)
- * TWiT.TV
- * What's On My PC?
- * Z – MORE READING RECO'S
- How to stop Google from tracking you
Visitors to date
- 4,160,243
-
-
Pages
Recent Comments
Previous Tips & Answers (aka Search This Site)
-
Or use keyword(s)
A Winner’s Blueprint for Achievement
BELIEVE while others are doubting.
PLAN while others are playing.
STUDY while others are sleeping.
DECIDE while others are delaying.
PREPARE while others are daydreaming.
BEGIN while others are procrastinating.
WORK while others are wishing.
SAVE while others are wasting.
LISTEN while others are talking.
SMILE while others are frowning.
COMMEND while others are criticizing.
PERSIST while others are quitting.~ William Arthur Ward